Lessons From Indian Men: 10 Ways to Grow a Handlebar Moustache
Maybe it’s for Movember. Or a manly fashion comeback. Perhaps you just want to channel your inner Wyatt Earp. Whatever the reason, the best way to grow a handlebar moustache is to learn from the gurus of beard and moustache themselves: the gentlemen of India.
These Indian men know the lowdown on furry facial hairs; they’ve grown it for virility, for social class, for self-respect. Now learn how to grow yours properly with these ten tips.
1. Start growing your moustache
Stop shaving the area between your nose and upper lip. You can choose how far out down the sides of your mouth or cheeks you want it to grow. If you’re doing this for Movember, consider doing it weeks ahead. After all, moustaches don’t grow overnight.
2. Think Tom Selleck and Chuck Norris
Yes, that’s it. Let it grow, and let it grow thick. At this point you could be sporting the manly walrus moustache, but you’re getting there. Be inspired by these two men who ooze manliness through those trademark facial hairs. But do not be content. Aspire to be manlier with a handlebar moustache.
3. Deal with the itch
Be warned. If it’s your first time growing a moustache, it will not be easy. It will itch like hell and it will itch constantly. Do the following things to lessen the discomfort:
- Wash it with baby shampoo. A good baby shampoo will clean the mo’, and won’t dry it out. Avoid using soaps and lotions.
- Use a hair conditioner on it. If it’s bristly, you could soften it by washing it with a good hair conditioner.
- Lessen the itch by dabbing baby oil on your moustache.
- Place a hot, damp towel over your mo’ for a few minutes to soften the whiskers and stop the itch.
4. Now part the hair
By this time, your mo’ will be long enough to comb. So comb it the right way: out from the center to the sides. You can buy a moustache comb to help you part those wild things and train them up.
5. Grow it into shape
Keep it growing, and keep combing every single day. Train the hairs to bend to your will and follow the path to handlebar moustache greatness by doing this ritual every day. It’s the only way to shape it into submission.
6. Tame it
It isn’t peach fuzz. Chances are, your moustache will be stringy and coarse. Sometimes, it might rebel and refuse to bend to your will. But have no fear; a good moustache wax can fix it.
After getting out of the shower in the morning, keep the moustache damp. Then get a small glob of moustache wax using your fingertips and dab it on the center. Then using your moustache comb, spread it down through the ends of the hair. Work your way through each side, applying more product if needed. Wiry mo’s need more wax so don’t be stingy.
7. Curl it the right way
After taming your mo’s, apply some moustache wax on the ends. Now twist the hair between your fingers. Gently twist it upwards and bend it in the direction of your nose. Do this every single day.
8. Curl it the extreme way
Moustache not curling the way that you want? Try this one: after applying moustache wax, wind the ends of your mo’ around a writing pen. Hold it in place for as long as you can, then unwind. You may twist and shape it into place for a nice little curl.
9. Maintain it
When you’ve finally achieved the handlebar moustache of your dreams, take care of it. Wash it, comb it, wax it and curl it every single day (until you decide to shave it off). It’s tough work, contrary to the common impression that mo’ owners are lazy bums.
10. Sport it
Sport it for a noble cause like Movember. Or start the handlebar moustache trend in your workplace and up the ante of manliness. Use it for intimidation or seduction. Whatever. It’s entirely up to you.
Growing a handlebar moustache isn’t easy. It requires dedication, persistence and hard work. The itch alone is enough to drive a man crazy. But real men don’t shy away from challenges, especially one involving facial hairs. Are you man enough for a handlebar moustache?