Battling Sex Addiction: 10 Alarming Signs You Badly Need Sex Therapy
Sex addiction happens when a person’s sexual behavior goes out of control. It is a hazardous and destructive condition. As with drugs, tobacco and alcohol, it is a very common ailment in society. But unlike them, sex addiction is not frequently diagnosed.
To know more about it, here are 10 disturbing signs of sex addiction that you might not know:
Having an alter ego
It’s good to have an alter ego if you are Clark Kent but not if you are Dr Jekyll. When men use their Mr Hyde alter ego for sexual pleasure, it is an indication of sex addiction. While it is true that men cheat on their partners, it is not normal if you think it is an obligation or if you feel an urge to do it often.
Too much porn
It is perfectly normal to watch porn, read sex stories, view nude photographs and visit porn sites. But if your mind is constantly pre-occupied with these sex materials, it becomes disturbing and can lead to a very shallow life. Being too engrossed with these media also affects your performance at work. It could possibly be a threat to your career.
Hard core sexual escapades
If you are not contented with your partner, you may look for more exciting sexual adventures elsewhere to satisfy your sexual desires. Your sexual problem spirals out of control if you return to those sex acts and constantly desire more intense activities. So if you’re not satisfied with the monogamous sexual practice of couples, then you have a problem.
Crossing the boundaries of law
You have crossed the line if you are involved in voyeurism, obscene phone calls, exhibitionism, having sex with minors and other illegal sex acts.
It is unfortunate that most men realize this when they’re already on the other side of the law. Sex should not get anybody into any kind of trouble, not especially with the law. Some charges may not be criminal, but they cause shame and embarrassment.
When you feel bad about yourself because of your disturbing behavior, it is time to get sex therapy. Self-hatred includes feeling ashamed, regretful and even suicidal. It usually leads to low self- esteem and denial. Eventually, this negative feeling about yourself will destroy your relationships and ruin your life.
Putting relationships at risk
Deceiving your spouse or girlfriend is a manifestation of sex addiction. Deceit does not only include having sex with other partners, it also includes frequent visits to strip clubs or pornographic movie houses without the consent of your partner.
Cheating puts your personal relationships at risk. Relationships without honesty are bound to fail.
When you use sexual acts to relieve stress from problems in your life, then you are a sex addict. Problems and stress are a normal occurrence in life. But every problem has a solution that is not a sex act. A classic example here is when a man who can’t sleep because of stress suddenly snaps and goes to the bathroom to masturbate for temporary relief.
Failure to stop a sexual behavior
When you try to cure your addiction by yourself, you promise yourself not to do a certain behavior again. You make good on that promise for a couple of weeks and then you return to it again because the urge is too irresistible and the need is so great. Suddenly, it’s become more unstoppable than ever and you cannot control it. This is an instance where help is immediately needed.
Sex is supposed to be a bonding act between couples. But if you are emotionally detached from your sex partner, then you need sex therapy. A person who is not emotionally or sexually satisfied with the sex act is not normal. His mind is elsewhere and is thinking of other sexual fantasies.
Feeling Angry when trying to stop
This sign happens when you try to stop the addiction but you feel that something in your life is missing. This feeling of discomfort and emptiness causes you to crack and vent your anger on the people around you. This is one ugly sign of sex addiction.
Sex Therapy is the solution
Sex Therapy investigates the behavioural patterns of sex addicts including their sexual history. During therapy, the individuals are able to identify the factors that make them want to repeat previous behaviours. Therapy also teaches individuals how to identify and prevent undesirable thought patterns that lead to the negative sex behaviours.
Therapists usually request their patients to attend weekly discussions with support groups, create a circle of support and accountability which helps reintegrate patients to society, find a mentor/confidante who they can meet a couple of times every month and recommend reading materials that will enhance their understanding of sex addiction.
It is critical that a person gets sex therapy from a certified professional who has received specific training in sex addiction, who has worked with sex addicts in the past and one who have a proven recovery plan.
The signs to sex addiction are very crucial to its solution. And as Hasbro’s GI Joe says it:
“Now you know, and knowing is half the battle”. The other half is up to you.